After the big ride on Tuesday, I was tired heading out today for another 100+ day. Didn’t help that I had to do battle with the morning traffic in the city – it’s amazing how quickly you simply abandon all pretence of being a law abiding cyclist and just act like everyone else, bumping, pushing and shoving, going the wrong way against traffic and basically adopting the ‘snooze, you lose’ attitude! Worked for me! I got out the city and found a Roti stall for breakfast – again, my palate has adapted from cereal and toast to spicy food. Anyways, like Tuesday, the initial 50 or so Ks were on ‘bat shit boring’ roads – dual carriageways swarming with tourist coaches, some of whom came way to close for my comfort. I then got off the highway to another delightful backroad. Had lunch in this really rural village, seemingly untouched by modernity and all the better because of it. So you can imagine how that image was shattered when the little child on the table next to me had her head in her mums iphone whilst it blasted out the Baby Shark song….in English! Nothing says rural cultural Thailand than that shite! Later
I stopped at a tiny village cross roads and had an iced coffee whilst watching the world move through this small cross roads. I pedalled off and after about 6k the lady in the shop where I had got the iced coffee waved me down on her moped….to give me 10 Thai Bharti….about 30c. She had overcharged me at the shop so had come chasing after me! That she would chase after me to correct an error I hadn’t even noticed is simply amazing ! She refused to keep the money.

So anyway I get to Songkhla port and booked in, again just as the heavens opened. Thought I’d get some food….well, bugger me, after an hour wandering around the ‘old town’ (which is really very picturesque) I couldn’t find one Thai eatery that was open or willing to serve me! The place is packed with wanky coffee shops – places to be seen and heard in – so all the street cafes have been forced out. Very sad…and I was very hungry! I stood at one place serving Chinese food for 15 minutes being completely ignored!

Had to laugh though when I got back to the hotel – the super friendly ‘security ‘ guard in the hotel car park, where my bike is, had assured me (with two fingers, two eyes salute to signal he was watching my bike) that it’ll be safe….when I came back he was fast asleep at his ‘station’!! I wanted to hide my bike and wake him up but decided against it 🤣

Thursday: well, what a great night (and half the morning in truth) sleep I had! Clearly I needed it!

I spent the morning dawdling through the narrow streets of Songkhla. Quite lovely. Also found the open market which was an assault on all my senses!

Today has been one of quiet reflection amidst still…still….trying to find something to eat! Being hungry in Thailand seems crazy but it’s been my reality in the larger towns whereas in the backroad villages there’s plenty to choose from!

My mate Barry asked me the other night ‘so, is this trip helping, is it what you thought it would be?’ Made me stop and think. To answer the latter question first, it’s doing everything I hoped it would in terms of putting time and space between me and my perpetual triggering experiences in Adelaide, and in that regard I feel less stuck in a routine which only served to enhance my own emotional depletion. It’s been an incredible experience, and even the low times have brought new insights.
As to the first part – is it helping…that’s more tricky.

Travelling itself is healing, but there is undeniably a sense of artificiality to it in that it’s a way of life, but it’s removed from day to day realities. So, whilst it’s helped in terms of time and space, the ‘real’ test of its helpfulness would be to ask ‘are you ready to resume life in Adelaide having learnt what you’ve learnt about yourself? The answer is – no, not yet. I know in myself that it doesn’t take much to feel those feelings and emotions, and think those thoughts that nearly broke me. I absolutely have a deeper understanding of why they are so powerful, and a greater insight in to why I need to stop taking on shite that doesn’t belong to me. But those rusted on, hard wired triggers are loitering with constant intent. Softening yes. But omnipresent. At one level I have pondered whether it is possible to truly heal when you’re removed from the things that you need to confront. But I’m reminded of what my wonderful counsellor said ‘you’re like an alcoholic trying to get sober in a pub’. By staying on the hamster wheel I had been on, constantly being triggered, angered and depleted, I simply had no way of even starting to heal. It was addictive to simply keep on being immersed in what I knew was hurting me. So….this journey is the initial critical circuit breaker, and in that regard…,it’s doing it’s job 😊. It won’t in itself bring about the healing….it’s not a simple matter of ‘go forth and cycle 3000ks and you’ll find your healing’ but it will give me the space to start that work 😊.

So the plan is to head North along the coast heading for Bangkok, where I’m likely to adjourn the cycling part of this trip to go to help out with my dads care arrangements. Whilst it’s disappointing in terms of not cycling further, that can wait.

Monday: Having struggled to find anything to eat bar rubbish from the 7-11….I settled for rubbish from the 7-11 before heading for the border. In my mind I had this image of this border crossing swarming with lorries and cars and people. Nope. Just me!! Place was deserted! Got out of Malaysia easily and getting in to Thailand was pretty straight forward too! Once in I needed to grab some local currency then get something to eat. I headed off towards the first main village which turns out to a very large town which was chaos! But in a fascinating way. I cycled through the back streets and multiple market stalls, which were heaving with people. One thing I noticed straight away was just how pleasant and friendly the Thais are. So many ‘hellos’ and ‘welcome’, it was great, with lots of eye contact and smiles – something you don’t get in Malaysia. What also caught my attention was the amount of police checkpoints and traffic stalling barriers – it reminded me of the images of the Troubles in Northern Ireland. I then cycled a route that basically followed the Malay-Thai border to the coast, and in to the bargain I got myself my first monsoon style downpour. It came out of nowhere – suddenly the winds whipped up, and down came the deluge. I love cycling in the rain, so I ploughed on, until it simply became too dangerous to ride – the roads quickly flooded, and I couldn’t see my front wheel, so I took shelter with some sensible Thais in one of the many small shelters scattered along the roadside. Great experience though. I made it to Tak Bai on the coast and booked in to a lovely chalet type accommodation right on a ‘lagoon’. All around the hotel is teeming with life – so different from just over the border. I always am astounded at how so much can change because of some seemingly arbitrary line drawn on a map – language, culture, personalities, approach to life, religion. I can actually see Malaysia from here yet it’s a million miles away! One thing they do share – their addiction to plastic. Everything is put in plastic bags even if it’s patently not needed. I refuse, much to their astonishment! The litter here is heart breaking.

Tuesday. Lu’s birthday 😘! I left early to beat the heat but also I knew I had 150ks to do to get to anywhere where there was accommodation. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a bunch of race bikes parked up at a coffee shop so I shared breakfast with a great bunch of Thai MAMILS (middle aged men in lycra!) – a wonderful start to the morning, not least as they paid 🤣! I knew the first 40ks were pretty boring main road riding so I got them outta the way then hit the back roads and was treated to around 90k of incredible riding, beaches, and delicious meals in 2 different street cafes. I drank my body weight in fluids I think! The highlight was definitely taking a dip in the sea – I had the beach to myself and the water was crazy warm. OMG what a treat! Anyways, after hitting the town of Pattani I found the hotels to be full. The sky was darkening and the traffic was absolutely chaos. I was tired and getting worried when I stumbled across a guest house which had a room! Just as I checked in the skies opened!!

Today was a ‘head down, bum up’ type of day – I had to just get through the Ks. But instead of a slog, I was treated to the most wonderful day of riding. Great food, great people, great scenery and the legs felt great too!! It was the longest day in the saddle so far. Plenty of time to also reflect – I’ll share my thoughts another time. Tonight….food, then bed!!

Well after a complete rest day yesterday I hit out this morning at 7 to try get ahead of the heat, as it was already 24 at that time. Today was, quite simply, delightful. Yep, one hill got the better of me (anything over 15% and I’m out) but other than that stinker, it was undulating hills through glorious forest bursting with life. The sound was intense. And the road was a cyclist delight 😊. After the pain of Friday, this was simply delicious! There were road side stalls everywhere, so I was never far from food and water, which really mentally helped me to relax and soak up the scenery. Stopped for lunch at this road side /street food cafe – whilst I asked for noodles, (well, I thought I did!) I was treated to noodles, plus chicken, plus beef, plus veggies, and ice cold water 😊 and a strawberry flavoured shake! All for about $3! I had to manage early niggles of cramp for the last 40 or so kilometres, but thankfully the residual cramp pain from Friday stayed away! I’d booked a hotel which paraded itself as ‘deluxe’ but when I got there, well, ‘dilapidated’ would fit better. Plus no wifi, no where near any food outlet, and the room charge didn’t include blankets or pillows – they were extra 🤣🤣. Found a motel about 6k further on!!

Today restored my enjoyment in cycle touring as a way to see, up close and personal, a country. I was shattered on Friday, physically, mentally and emotionally, but I am slowly learning to hold the perspective that that one day should not and does not get to determine this trip, or me. It was what it was. Move on. Learn from it, but don’t let it dictate how I feel or think about this journey. I can be real good at catastrophising…’that was shite, therefore…..’. There’s an art to letting go, one I haven’t mastered yet!

Tomorrow I’m going to try getting through the border to Thailand 😊. The rules about border crossing change almost by the hour so I’m anticipating that I’ve forgotten something or somethings not in order. If so….I’ll book in to a room close to the border and sort things out, and try again!!

Thanks for reading. Happy Sunday 😊

I awoke after a great nights sleep and nonchalantly set off with the understanding that as I was at the highest point I’d be grabbing a ton of Ks in freewheel. Well…,I’m sure you can guess what happened next. After climbing (yep!) out of the town and up a 2.5k beast of a hill things looked good – downhill at silly speeds. And then it all went to sh1t. At this stage I must own up to a really stupid error. A rookie error at that. Not checking the profile! I could not have been more wrong about descending to Gua. It was hideous – the road, the scenery was dull and industrial, but most brutal of all – that after say a couple of Ks of descending you’d be greeted, over and over and over again, with a monster climb of about a K at around 10%. There were no food stalls or options to take a break. It was unrelenting. I got to kilometre 81 and wrestled my way up 37 such climbs (I counted them, combining to an elevation gain of 2,325m!) I had to wave a white flag. Out of water and food, exhausted from the heat and climbing, and cramping in places I didn’t know I had (when I was cramping on the downhill I knew it was time!). After about an hour a lovely guy called Cody pulled up in a ute and took me to Gua Musang, where I am now. As it turns out most of what was left was downhill but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going any further on the bike today. From the thrill and sense of achievement yesterday to the Hell of the South today.

I later found this post on line:

‘The last but not least is the monster route to Gua. The profile is like a saw tooth and a lot of the gradients are an unrelenting 10-12%. It is considered the toughest route in Malaysia. It is extreme’

Whilst this relates to going the other way, it none the less aptly describes the horror of the terrain.

I’m struggling to stay motivated after today – it’s been a humbling experience, one which has taken its toll mentally and physically. Hopefully after a nights sleep and a rest day tomorrow I’ll be ready to go again. I’m pretty close to the Thai border 😊😊. But amidst the hideousness of the day I knew when I call it quits and gratefully accepted help. Not something that comes easy to me. I’ll look back on today I’m sure, when the hurt stops, as another lesson on this journey. A lesson I’d rather have had in another way but hey, we don’t get to choose when and how life throws us a lesson 😊

Up up and far away!

Yesterday was in cycling parlance a ‘transition’ day, getting me to the base of the Cameron Highlands climb. I stayed at Tapah last night after an 86k ride.
It’s funny how all towns at the base of big climbs have that same look and feel – the mountain looming large in the background, loads of hotels and an eerie foreboding! I awoke to a very pleasant morning temp of early 20s, had my Malay breakfast and with a look to the gods (no idea why!) I set off, thinking I had about a 10k run in to the base of the climb. Got that wrong. With 2k of the hotel I was climbing. And I climbed all day bar a few descents in to towns/villages. I drank my body weight in water but thankfully as I ascended the temp dropped so it was manageable. As those who know me I have a preference for riding on the flat – put another way, I f@&king hate climbing! So this really was a mental and physical test. On a few occasions I had to go to my granny gear – 40-46 (I’m riding a ‘one by’. And I needed it! But overall it was a very exciting and moving ride….I found my rhythm and just accepted that it would be slow going – around 8-10 kph (dropping to 6kph on the stingers). The final hill was in the town I’m staying which is at the very top – a nasty 15% slog!! But I achieved my goal. I was patient and focussed. Amazing what you can do when you slow down! Had a great beef curry in Ringlet, about 40k in. I say ‘beef’….it could have been the balls of a unicorn, I couldn’t tell such was the overpowering flavouring!

So….I’ve never cycled so many Ks uphill in one sitting, so it’s been quite a wonderful day. And plenty of time to twiddle the pedals and think of life. And by the way…,the scenery was simply magnificent. Riding so slowly meant I could really take it all in but I tried not to stop too often as it was a bugger to get the cadence back up after restarting!!