Final missive of three incredible years!

Reflections

So how does one summarise the most incredible experience of a lifetime? It’s as impossible as the adventure itself!

I have been on the road for the best part of three years, with minor health interruptions! I’ve had the opportunity to ride Bob in 5 continents, and experience everything that is so beautiful about life on the road, as well as those moments when it was all too much.

But the Divide has crushed any of those previous highs and lows in to 3months of experiences which cannot possibly be distilled in to a meaningful conversation. I hope I have been able to convey through my updates some of those experiences as they happened, so I’m not going to reminisce or repeat them here ….those moments were best captured at the time of writing, as the passage of time fades the emotionality of those experiences too easily. And they can easily be rewritten with rose spectacles!

So I thought I’d share what the Divide has taught me through those experiences. At the start of these three years I intended to learn, to reflect, to heal….cycling was a process which enabled that to happen. The Divide was a cycling adventure, but through it all it has taught me so much.

1. ‘20 miles is NOT a uniform measurement of distance (quoting Michael!). On one day 20 miles can be done in 1.5 hours. On another day it can take all day. Learning to let go of distance, and recalibrate my thinking to ‘today I will ride for 5 hours’ was such an important learning!

2. ‘if you wanna make god laugh…tell him you have a plan’ …..replace god with Divide! The divide throws up so many challenges that planning becomes somewhat redundant after a while. ‘I’ll get there when I get there’ is certainly a healthy attitude to develop or…disappointment awaits!

3. ‘Everyone wants you to succeed’ cycling is such a competitive sport and egos can be large….speaking from my own ego! But on the Divide, there is this incredible community of riders, all humbled by the sheer challenge of what the Divide delivers every single day. There’s no room for ego or selfishness….everyone wants everyone else to succeed, to win, to beat the odds.

4. ‘Ride your own ride’ was something I heard every day. Learning to let go of comparing distance, speed, elevation, duration and know that this ride is YOUR ride, no one else’s. Yes we might be going the same way, but I’ll be doing it my way, on my terms, in my own time.

5. ‘Cry me a river’…..I don’t think I’ve cried so much in three months! The Divide can sap the life from you. It presents you with what can feel like an unending gruel of pain and hardship – and sometimes it can break you. As the saying goes…’we stumble over pebbles not mountains’. Whilst there were countless mountains to traverse, it was often the small ‘pebbles’ which tripped me up, when it all got too much. It wasn’t so much that I learnt this, but I was persistently reminded of it, so I could learn better how not try not to sweat the small stuff as much.

6. ‘This too shall pass’ there were days when it was overwhelmingly difficult, and the thought that tomorrow was gonna serve up the same menu of pain and challenge was soul destroying but…..I learnt that tomorrow is tomorrow, and to relegate it to a day of misery before it even started robbed me of the possibility that it might actually be ok! Time and again I’d go to my tent at night absolutely wrecked and dreading the next day….but that next day turned out to be simply wonderful. So I’ve learnt to try not to foreshadow what tomorrow will be like based on today’s experiences. I say ‘try’ as I recognise just how hard that is!

7. Lean on your friends; it’s been humbling to tackle the Divide with complete strangers who turned out to be not just friends, but soulmates. And you learn, ‘cos the Divide requires you to, to lean on them, search out their strengths and use them, it teaches you to work hard to help a friend who’s struggling because tomorrow…they’ll be helping you when you’re in the bin. Michael in his own quiet, reflective way, Jake through his humour and joy of life on the roads, Chris with his humble humour and sheer determination….and many others besides, MADE this trip so memorable.

8. ‘Trust yourself….you can do this’. It’s very helpful that others encourage and support you – it matters. BUT….you have to believe it in yourself. Through these three years, and especially the past three months, I’ve started to learn to trust that I can ‘get through this’. Time and again when it all seemed hopeless, something happened which turned the tables. That desert cowboy in the Augustine Plains, the trail Angels, the couple who took me in in Ennis….Trusting that something will happen which changes the situation you’re in is such an amazing lesson to learn, as well as trusting in myself that despite this dire situation I’m in….breathe, stop, empty the mind, restart. Leaning in to the mess is a great lesson.

9. ‘The world is best absorbed, not just observed’ the Divide presented countless opportunities to be disconnected from my phone, with no signal. And it was FANTASTIC! Since stopping in Banff I’ve realised just how addictive these stupid things are. I’m grateful for the Divide for providing so much time away from the screen and seeing, hearing and feeling life, not doomscrolling and ‘connecting’ with a world that’s disconnected from such beauty in nature. As Passenger sings ‘You see, all I need’s a whisper, in a world that only shouts’.

10. ‘It’s not all about the bike’ – yes, the Divide is first and foremost a bike ride, a challenging one, but still a bike ride. But the Divide is also SO much more. It’s the whole immersive experience of living in nature, and abandoning all the ‘norms’ of life: no toilets…go dig a hole. No clean clothes ….wear the same sweaty smelly ones you took off last night. Clothes are wet….get over it, put them on and let your body dry them a bit. No running water ….use a stream. No showers…..again, use a stream, or failing that, go dirty. No cafes or food outlets…use what you have, or go hungry. No phone signal….read a book! Holes in your clothes….mend it or live with it. Bike broken…..fix it, or make it work somehow. Stuck…..work through it until you’re unstuck. No Google out here to look something up! So I’ve learnt that even if you’re the best bike rider on the trail, you’ve signed up for everything else too, not just the ride….and you need mental fortitude and an ability to live simply, humbly, survive on fresh air and luck….cos if you can’t, then the Divide will chew you up and spit you out!

And finally I want to say a HUGE thank you to a few people:

To Jill, who in the full knowledge that I am indeed a ‘pothole on the information technology highway’ continued throughout the three years to upload my ramblings to my blog. Thank you so so much Jill….aside from the opportunity to record things in the moment, it provided me with a lifeline of support throughout.

To all my family and dear friends in Ireland and Australia, and other places around the world, who have consistently supported me and posted words of encouragement- I know I rarely responded, often due to lack of connection …..but I know you posted to support, not to have a conversation 😊.

A special shout out to my Lee Roadies cycling family in Cork, who have been so supportive through this trip – thank you one and all! And to Mick my Doc who pulled me through a few tough moments.

And to Alison, my late father’s partner of 30 years, and her family. We had to say goodbye to Dad in these 3 years of travelling, but through it all Alison has supported my madcap travels and been that vital link to my father. Thank you.

To Charlie, Stephen and Niamh….thank you for being in my life and unwaveringly supporting me in your own ways. Love you. And to Inge for always being there in support and understanding, as well as connecting me with Niamh whenever it was possible – thank you.

And whilst I may risk being carted off in a straight jacket….a thank you to Bob!! Yes, yes I know, it’s just an inanimate object but….through five continents he has been the one consistent. I have thrown Bob in to the most testing environments any bike can handle, and he’s never failed. I feel I owe Bob an apology for throwing him on the Divide as truly, Bob is not a mountain bike, and the Divide is brutal on any bike, let alone a non mountain bike! But like a good friend, it’s like he went ‘ok, let’s beat this bastard in to submission….lets go’! And at the end of the trail, he was still going…battered, bruised, squeaking and grinding…..but still moving forward 🙏🏻

Signing off. Tony 😊